Hello. My name is Barrabas.

We see the story of Jesus going to the cross, and everything seems to be hand and hand. But then there’s this one character that seems to interrupt the narrative. His name is Barrabbas. 

We don’t even know much about him except that he’s a murderer, a leader of an insurrection, a rebel. Why he’s even mentioned, sometimes i’m not so sure. It's like, what? 

This is about Jesus going to the cross. 

So in this moment, Pilate thinks, “I hold the destinies of these two men in my hand. I know the Jews have a tradition that on a Holy day I will release one of the prisoners on death row.” Pilate stands on this audacious stage, who now presents Jesus, son of the living God, vs Barrabas the thug and rebel. 

He says, “Alright, who do you want? This is blasphemy! This has gone too far! There’s no comparison! This is a rightful prisoner! A man who should be on death row! He’s a rebellion against wrong, he leads a rebellion, he murders people, he’s a bad man, he’s a thug, and he’s a crook!He deserves the chains and he deserves the crucifixion! But Jesus? What has he done but heal? Restore? Deliver? Set free? Open blind eyes?open deaf ears, heal the lame and the leper? What has Jesus done? Who do you want?”

The crowd yells, “We want Barrabbas! Yeah give us Barrabbas!”

So the Roman soldiers come up and they put the key in and then they unlock Barrabbas from his chains and shackels and he walks down the platform, welcomed by all of his thug friends as he says, “Yeah the people love me. Yeah i don’t even know who this Jesus guy is. But all I know is my people love me.”

There seems to be no conscience in Barrabas. 

There’s no record of him turning to Jesus and saying, “I owe you everything now, for you have set me free.”

No. 

You don’t see any of that in Barrabbas, and God knew that. 

Jesus stood there silent for He knew the will of the father. He said, “It’s fine father. Let them have Barrabbas.”

For Jesus knew that the father would have to treat Jesus like Barrabbas, so he could treat Barrabbas like Jesus. 

Barrabas thought it was the people that set him free. 

No. It was the love of the Heavenly Father. 

When I look at the story, I realize who Barrabbas really is. That is me.

That is you.

That is us. 

I was reading this the other day and I felt God speak to me. “I love Barrabbas.  I love him.” 

"But God he’s a bad man!"

"I love him and I wanted him to go free."

“But did you know that he’d probably never acknowledge the free gift?"

"Yeah but I love Barrabas."

For while we were still sinners christ died for us.

God sent His Son for Barrabas, even though He knew He would walk away from Jesus and His free gift and never come back.

He loves him! 

And the nerve, all the audacity of the believers to think, ‘I got saved by grace. But now that I’m in this deep, dark place of bondage, I better work hard to get myself out!"

What?!

Thats the opposite of the gospel!!

Are you bound??!

Are you held under the temptation? The sin? Do you feel like it’s controlling you?! What are you gonna do?!

"I’m gonna shake myself free."

STOP IT. NO YOU WON’T!! YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR THE POWERS OF HELL AND THE URGES OF SIN!

YOU WILL NOT OVERCOME IT, AND YOU WILL NEVER OVERCOME IT!

YOU’LL JUST BE ANOTHER STATISTIC!!

There’s no answer within yourself. Your own marriage, your own goodness, your own discipline, your own devotion- It will not save your marriage! it will not save your kid!

There’s only One and He’s the One that took your place.

He’s the one that stood silently on the platform with Pilate and said “Yes, let them have Barrabbas. Take me.”

How many times have I stood on that platform with Pilate and Jesus, and I’m the Barrabas, and they started to take my chains off and I say,     “No no I deserve this! I deserve the guilt! I deserve the shame! I deserve the consequences! I deserve it!”

Jesus seems to look at me and say 

“No son let me have it. Let me have your sin let me have your pain."

“No God I did it to myself. I deserve it! My marriage won’t make it. This is what I deserve. I deserve divorce. I deserve poverty. I deserve sickness. I deserve it all!"

NO.

"God I am so ashamed."

"Give me your shame."

"But God what if I do it again?"

“I’d still be there."

“Oh God, I don’t wanna hurt you. I love you. I don’t wanna do this anymore!"

“Give me your sin, son."

This is all we got.

This is all I got.

This is all you got.

We can play games-we can play church games, we can pretend like some people are better than others and that’s why they’re blessed or we can all come to the honest conclusion that it’s God and it’s God alone.

The greatest challenge is not your discipline, your devotion, or your focus. Your greatest challenge is believing the gospel. Could it be that there is a God with a love so scandalous, so wide, so deep, so vast, so high, so expansive, so welcome, so inclusive. 

"Let me have your sin, son!”

“Okay!” 

And I give him my sin. I stand in this empty space of forgiveness and acceptance while Jesus walks off to the cross that I deserve.

I see him. I see him walking to the post to be whipped as I stand a free man. 

All the attention is turned now and I feel the love of God say,

“Go son, live your life! I will pay the price!"

Where do we get off thinking that we were gonna set ourselves free? 

It’s still Jesus, it’ll always be Jesus, it’ll never stop being the power of Jesus. 

His blood is sufficient for your salvation. His blood is sufficient to sustain you through every challenge, and every sin, and every temptation. JESUS IS ENOUGH.

-Judah Smith

Youtube, "Jesus is loving Barrabas"

Grace That Saved a Wretch Like Me

God made us to be dependent on Him. He designed us knowing that we would fail time and time again, while He would remain endlessly patient. We are all slow learners when it comes to God. It takes a whole lifetime, yet Jesus still calls us His children. Like sheep, people have a knack for getting lost repeatedly. 

Sometimes it’s hard for us to believe that while we mess things up every day, that God could still love us. But maybe we’re all a little like human origami and the more creases we have, the better. 

We sometimes think God can’t use us because of how we are at the moment. But Jesus wants us to participate no matter what condition we are in. Say a cake falls in a parking lot. My life is like that cake, full of small rocks and asphalt, broken relationships, failure, sadness, unwanted debris. But God calls us to come to Him so he can scrape together the pieces of our brown lives and allow Him to use them. Despite everything we do wrong, God allows us to be served up anyway! He loves us despite the grit and faults and failures! We can’t let our rocks and gravel get in the way of us being used!

We think we are too broken for God to do anything good with us?? Often times, the broken people get used more, probably because God has more pieces to work with!! God wants to use us not just when we are broken, but BECAUSE we are broken! God wants US, broken people, to be followers and participants. He calls people who trip over their own laces, people who can’t figure out how to open a plastic bag to build His kingdom!

If we are willing, He serves us up, asphalt and all. 

Then He sends us out to tell everyone that there’s plenty of room, free food, conversation, adventure, and a wonderful and generous Host who has invited us by name! He loves them all by name, but He isn’t going to force them to come! He keeps  saying there’s more room for those who really want to come! God loves when people WANT to get to know Him. He knows our sadness and brokenness we want to hide from Him, but He sends His people out to look anyway.

God doesn’t get mad when we miss the mark. He sees our failed attempts, then scoops us into His arms, gets our blood all over His shirt, and carries us away to get healed. 

God draws a big circle of grace around everyone, and whispers “You’re all in.” There’s some people who think they’ve wandered too far outside of the circle, but He still continues to say, “You’re all in.”

God isn’t upset with you, He isn’t ignoring you. If you don’t hear God, it’s because we all have selective hearing. He communicates His will and grace and power to us through flowers, other people, an uncomfortable sense, joy, goose bumps, talent, or appreciation we acquire over time. 

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, where you’ve been, or what you will do or say. He still loves you, and His grace for you is never ending. 

Wanna hear some great songs about grace?

Broken Vessels by Hillsong

Grace like Rain by Todd Agnew

This is Amazing Grace by Phil Wickham

Thank you Jesus for your amazing, abounding grace that washes over me. 

Love: Emotion? Or action?

When non-believers look at you, do they see more of what you are against, or more of Who you are for? Do they see you showing the love of Christ? God wants our lives to be full of abandon, whimsy, and in love. He wants us to be engaged in and with life!

When people hear the words you say, how does it make them feel? Words can launch us. We don’t need to be important to say words that can change everything for someone. Instead, God made it so that ordinary people like you and me can launch each other. I believe it’s true that the right people can say words that can change everything. And guess what? We’re the ones who can say them! Words can shape people, and words of encouragement have so much power!

Love is a DO thing. It’s an energy that has to be dissipated!

 Love pursues blindly, unflinchingly, and without end. When you go after something you love, you’ll do ANYTHING it takes to get it, even if it costs everything. 

When loving like Christ, we must remember that most people aren’t bad in the traditional sense. I mean, they aren’t malicious or plotting a bank robbery or setting up scams. The people I know, they are mostly aiming their crosshairs at stuff like being loved, not being lonely, finding some security, and a bunch of other things that are actually pretty normal and worth pursuing. In fact, I think God put it in our hearts to aim for those things, and it’s nice when we actually hit those targets. 

When loving like Christ and living like Christ, there’s nothing on the other side of the equals sign, just Jesus.

God has set up this thing like reverse psychology: You want to receive, you give. If you want to lead, you follow. 

We won’t be able to love like Christ if we are letting Satan drive our lives. It’s simple though, just tell Satan to pull over, and then get out of the car!! 

As Christ followers, we must be Jesus to the world around us! What’s God’s plan for the whole world?—buckle up: it’s us.  We aren’t just supposed to be observers, listeners, or have a bunch of opinions. We’re not here to let everyone know what we agree and don’t agree with, because, frankly, who cares? Tell me about the God you love; tell me about what He has inspired uniquely in you; tell me about what you’re going to do about it, and a plan for your life will be pretty easy to figure out from there! I guess what I’m saying is that most of us don’t get an audible plan for our lives. It’s way better than that. We get to be God’s plan for the whole world by pointing people toward Him.

If you think that God can’t use you to love others because you are in a bad state in your life, think again! There’s no place we can go where God can’t rescue us. God pursues us despite whatever dark place we’ve landed and behind whatever locked door holds us in. He holds our unwashed and dirty hands and models how He wants us to pursue each other. He doesn’t pass us messages, instead He passes us each other.

Love is our only real weapon. Don’t just read about God’s instructions on loving! Go out and DO IT! Jesus never talked about just building consensus; He wanted us to build a kingdom instead! That’s the way the chemistry of God’s love and our creativity work together when combined. No reservoir can hold it, no disappointment can stop it, and no impediment can contain it. It can’t be waved off, put off , or shut down.

Love does whatever it takes to multiply itself and somehow along the way everyone becomes a part of it. Why? Because that’s what love does. 

CREDITS TO BOB GOFF!!!

Adventure

Those who live their lives in harmony with the Lord are living not just life, but an adventure. Their whole life is a 100% complete adventure. Everyone is invited to be a part of this adventure with God, but not everyone is willing to accept the invitation. “We get the invitation every morning when we wake up to actually live a life of complete engagement.  It’s ushered in by a sunrise, the sound of a bird, or the smell of coffee drifting lazily from the kitchen. It’s the invitation to actually live, to fully participate in this amazing life for one more day . Turning down this invitation comes in lots of flavors. It looks like numbing yourself or distracting yourself or seeing something really beautiful as just normal. It can also look like refusing to forgive or not being grateful or getting wrapped around the axle with fear or envy."

Of course, God won’t spell out everything for us in life, but that’s part of the adventure! What fun would an adventure be if you knew exactly what was going to happen? This adventure will be full of many things. Laughs, friends, tears, death, heartbreak, smiles, naps, activity, and so much more. Throughout this adventure, we will get hit a few times by things we cannot see, but that’s okay. "I don’t suppose everybody gets hit by Jesus, but those of us who have talk about Him differently. I want to leak from getting hit by Jesus, to get thrown from my life in a terrific collision."

When God invites us on this adventure, he’s leaning over us, and He whispers, “Let’s go do that together.” He shapes who we become with what happens along the way.He says let’s go after those things that inspire and challenge you and let’s experience them together. You just need a willingness while we’re safely tethered to Him by a bright red rope of grace, which holds us securely .

Along this adventure, we are also going to fail at many things. But you know what? That’s OK. God sees our failed launches as us flying over the handlebars in slow motion, and while He never wants to see us hurt , He knows it can happen from time to time when we live a life of total engagement.  After we come to, He dusts us off , helps us to our feet, and He hears us say, “That was awesome.” I’ve felt Him lean in closely to me after picking up the pieces of my life and whisper back to me, “You know what? It was.”

In this life, Jesus doesn’t want us to just be “believers”, but he also wants us to be “participants.” Not because it’s hip, but because it’s more accurate, but because it’s more fitting that way. He wants people who got to the “do” part of faith, not because He wants activity , but because He wants our faith to matter to us.

God will be with us throughout the whole adventure, but sometimes we are going to think we don’t need Him even though we do. Because of this, we are going to try to fight some battles on our own. I used to think clenched fists would help me fight better, but now I know they make me weaker. But if we have Jesus, there’s nothing to lose. Palms up means you have nothing to hide and nothing to gain or lose. Palms up means you are strong enough to be vulnerable. Let Jesus help you fight while climbing up the mountain, swinging from the trees, and floating through the rough waters!

When we decide to accept God’s invitation and do life with Him, we realize we are a part of God’s much bigger plan for the whole world. 

Accept the invitation! Do life with God, because doing life with God IS the biggest adventure! Knowing God IS the greatest adventure! Be an adventurer with God by your side!

Credits to Bob Goff and HosannaPoetry!

YOU MAKE ME BRAVE (Bethel)

We are all afraid of something. Maybe spiders, maybe death, maybe failure. Everyone fears something or someone. 

But that’s okay.

We sometimes think that because of how imperfect we are, that we are broken beyond compare. 

But that is the farthest thing from true. 

God’s love, wave after wave, crashes over me, you, and everyone else, whether we recognize it or not. 

Even though we mess up every single day, God is still on our side. He is constantly fighting for us, pursuing us, loving us, and He never stops. If it seems like He is distant, it is simply because we are pushing Him away or drawing away from Him. 

He desperately wants for all of us to come to Him. His arms are wide open to all of us, everyone. 

When we decide to follow Jesus, our lives are forever changed. He calls us to do things we aren’t comfortable with, but that is the DO part of faith. We must have faith. 

Drawing us out beyond the shore, He is inviting us into His grace, and makes us brave. 

Even though the storm is raging, He is calling us to walk into the waves, because His love has made a way for us. 

Sure, the waves are big, scary, and have the potential to swallow up anything in its way, but guess what?

God is bigger. And when we have faith in Him, He makes us brave. Brave enough to do anything. 

Nothing can undo God’s great love for us, not even us messing up. God is our floatie in the storm, and without Him we would sink. 

Nothing that you do can make God love you any less or any more. His grace is sufficient for all of our failures, no matter what. 

Stop feeling helpless, and run into His open arms, the ultimate floaties through the storm. With Him, we are made brave.

Unplanned

Let’s face it. Things rarely ever go as planned. Have you ever made a new friend, and they invite you over to their house for the first time? I remember when I was younger, I would imagine what their house would look like when I would get there. It may be just me, but I think we have all pictured something near our definition of perfect, and then it never happens the way we want. 

Maybe someone you love decides they don’t love you anymore. 

Maybe your best friend becomes a whole different person. 

Maybe your family members don’t make good decisions, and their lives have gone astray. 

Maybe your relationship doesn’t go as planned. 

Maybe a day you spent forever planning was a total disaster. 

Maybe you lose someone much too early than deserved. 

Maybe you work so hard for something, but continue to fail at it according to someone else’s standards. 

There’s so many things in our lives that go completely wrong. 

But the only reason we see them as “completely wrong” is because we are comparing them to our perfect view of what they were supposed to be like. And let’s face it, we are all far from perfect, so why in the world would our plans be perfect?

I’m here to tell you that they’re not. In fact, they’re often the exact opposite of perfect. 

We, as human beings can not possibly achieve absolute perfection. 

And that’s OK. 

That’s not our job. 

But you see, God’s plan for our lives is the definition of perfection, though to us, it may seem like heartbreak and disaster. 

We must trust that God’s will is PERFECT, ESPECIALLY when things in our lives don’t go as WE planned. When things fail, we tend to blame God, but really we should be praising Him for all the things in our lives that go wrong! 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

God’s plan for us includes every single thing that hurts us, breaks us, and troubles us…yet His plan is STILL perfect. 

Things in our lives can be ultra-messy, but that’s okay!! That’s the way it’s supposed to be. 

We cry, “God, why me?! Why did you let this happen?”

Jer. 29:11 “For I KNOW the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE.”

2 Corinthians 5:7 For we must live by faith and not by sight. 

In the end it’s all going to be okay. And if it’s not okay, it’s not the end yet. In the end, these hardships will make us so much stronger and closer to God and each other. God has a perfect time for everything.

Ecclesiastes 3:21-22 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing…

Let go of the plans you have for yourself, and let God’s plan just be. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

You may not like your situation, but God has you there because you need it. It happens to be that when everything seems to be falling apart, God is putting everything together. We may not understand why God throws things our way, but we just have to trust His will. 

Wherever He has us and whatever He gives us is all a part of His perfect plan, is shaping us according to His purpose for our lives, and it’s in our best interest whether we agree or not. 

God knows what He’s doing. Just submit, trust Him, and watch everything fall in place. 

Flex your brave

Brave: Showing courage, Fearless, Bold, Audacious, recklessly Daring, Valiant, Lion hearted.
And grace is the greatest brave.
This doesn’t sound like me most days.
In fact on any given day, sometimes I feel just barely saved.
I get up, and life is a war- a Battlefield of blazing swords swiftly swarming through the sultry air.
Nothing that comes my way seems fair.
And at the end of the day, the last thing I want to give is grace.
It would take everything out of me, And I don’t have it in me.
These battles raging against me look like loved ones constantly hurting me, throwing words of hurt at me knowing what they do to me-like a sword of heartbreak constantly stabbing me.
These battles look like people holding against me things that I used to be, refusing to forgive me though I have said I am sorry.
These battles look like people persistently persuading me that I’m failing, consistently trying to tear down all that I’ve achieved.
One day they say this, one day they say that. I can’t tell anymore who’s being real with me.
These battles look like gossip.
These battles look like rumors. These battles look like enemies and accusers.
But they also look like my family. They look like my best friends.
They look like my church. They look like the ones I love the most.
And this is why it hurts so much. And this battle never seems to end.
I get why they say that grace is the greatest brave because giving grace doesn’t come easily.
It doesn’t feel natural.
It takes every gut and every muscle out of me to give it, to show courage, to be fearless, bold, audacious, recklessly daring, valiant, lion hearted.
Is it even possible to give it?
It is.
And Jesus proved it.
I remember what He did when I was the one warring against him, when I was the one throwing swords, when I was the one living for myself and worshipping the world.
I used to do things to Him that people used to do to me.
I would tell him I loved him, promise things to Him, and then I would break those vows repeatedly.
I would represent Him when I wanted.
I would turn my back if I felt it was warranted.
Then I took, then I took, then I took from Him and then blamed Him if he didn’t give me the next thing I demanded.
I lied to him, I cursed at him, I made fun of Him and yet all His grace- He still gave it.
He was courageous enough to take it- all our disgustingness- and carry it onto a cross He died with it.
The ultimate form of bravery- He was it. He gave us a second chance even though we didn’t deserve it.
For no matter how hurtful the world was being, He believed we were still worth it.
He said “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength has been perfect in weakness” and that could not be more true.
I am weak.
I am unworthy.
I don’t want to forgive or love anyone who has hurt me.
But His grace is enough for all of me and when I pass my grace on, it is Him being made strong inside of me.
I can be brave because Jesus Christ was brave.
And I sure am glad that someone once thought to give me grace.
He takes our weak arms and gives them muscles far beyond us.
He takes our frail lives and makes heroes out of us.
He takes our dirt and makes a garden out of us and with all that He has given us, with how much He has equipped us, He says, “I geared you up, now you go and be courageous.”
We don’t get the luxury of looking like Jesus while holding on to our hurts and our hate.
We don’t get to say that we follow Jesus and then hold to ourselves what he so freely gave.
We don’t get to condemn the world that Jesus died to save.
He says, “Come be brave, I did not come to save you of your sins so that you could just stay the same.”
Grace restores broken families.
Grace rebuilds shattered relationships.
Grace changes mindsets.
Grace doesn’t just happen.
Someone has to be brave enough to give it. So flex your brave.
Show courage, be fearless, bold, audacious, recklessly daring, valiant, lion hearted, and don’t let the world take your brave away.
Look to Jesus- the King of the courageous.
For in the battle of hell, evil, and chaos- the weapon He fought with was grace.

Broken beautiful

So I’m sitting here, with nothing to do, and I’m thinking

“Hmm..I haven’t blogged in a while. But I really don’t have any ideas.”

So I plug in my headphones and click “Shuffle.”

The song “Brokenness Aside” comes up. So I’m gonna talk about that.

This songs talks about how God’s grace for us never runs out, even when we do things that let Him down. 

How He still calls us Child when we aren’t honest with Him. 

How we as humans are prone to running and crying. We try to fix things on our own, instead of looking to help. 

We are all sinners, regardless. We are caught up in devastation, some of which we bring upon ourselves. 

But He is God, and He can take all of our broken pieces and turn them into beauty. 

Then I was thinking, “Hmmm…what other songs are like this?”

Ellie Holcomb’s Broken Beautiful: We sometimes wonder if God will still be there to hold the broken pieces of our hearts together when we set them down in front of Him. 

But we must remember that He is love, He is healing, He can take our shame, and He can make our broken pieces beautiful. 

Casting Crown’s Broken Together: Things don’t always turn out the way we planned. Instead of drawing battles lines between us and another broken person, we must realize that we weren’t made to do anything alone. We, as broken individuals, are supposed to bring our brokenness to each other. Healing can be spoken and save us if we remain broken together. 

Hillsong’s Broken Vessels: We are broken, and all of our pieces and spread everywhere, but then His mercy comes along and mends them all back together, even though we don’t deserve His mercy. We are weak, we are failures, but His grace is abounding, and it saves us constantly. Through His grace, we are found. His love is everywhere. When He died for us, He was raising our brokenness to life. 

Sweetly Broken: We are beautifully broken, and wholly surrendered. 

Beautiful Things: He takes even dust and makes it beautiful. He takes us and makes us beautiful. 

So in the midst of our brokenness, He is in the process of making it beautiful.

Children

I was singing on stage yesterday, helping lead worship. There was a little boy, probably 3 or 4, who was sitting in the front row with his mom. About halfway through worship, he walked away from his mom, and came and sat up on the stairs leading up to the worship stage. He only sat there for about 3 seconds until his mom made him come back, but I know he had me smiling, as well as a few others. It got me thinking about how the Bible calls us to be like children in our faith. This little boy was not afraid to sit on the stairs and face the audience of 1000+ people. He just wanted to do what he wanted to do. 

Luke 18:17 Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.

Matthew 19:14 But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

Children are innocent. Well, most of the time. Mostly anything you tell a small child, they will believe. God wants us to be the same. When He tells us things, He wants us to simply believe Him. He wants us to climb up on His lap, look into His eyes and smile, saying “Hi Jesus!!” 

Little children are often very excited to get to go to Kid’s Group at church or to get to sit in the congregation with the big people. We should also be the same. We should treasure the moments we get to spend with our family in Christ, and we should treasure the insight we receive from the people within our church. 

So as the Bible says, let us come to the Lord as little children.

Simplify

Prior to simplifying your life:

Realize that God is bigger than all of our sins and brokenness. “Let hope rise and darkness tremble in Your Holy Light.”

Simplifying Your Life:

*Ask yourself what your motive is. Is your motivation towards simplifying for your own gratification or for God’s?

*Think of all of the people in the world who have SO little, but are still SO joyful. Remember that joy is available for everyone. 

*How to simplify: (It’s simple) Love the Lord. “Love isn’t complicated. People are.” Love is simple. 

*Think of what complicates your life. Time, jealousy, fear, etc?

*Love God in the midst of what you are doing.

*Don’t misplace your desire. For example, don’t desire for a certain situation to end up a certain way. Such things can complicate your life. 

*For girls: Mirrors complicate our lives because we spend so much time looking into them. Acceptance complicates our lives because we are constantly looking for it. Selfies complicate our lives because we take fifty before we use one. 

*Ask yourself, “Am I/ Why am I afraid to let God love and accept me?”

*When you fully surrender and give your life to the Lord, He takes the complications, and helps untangle them. 

And to end this whole thing:

Algebra is complicated, and from the wise words of Marla Crisman:

“You will never use algebra!”

Personal logo

So in my graphic design class, we are working on making logos for make-believe companies. I was assigned a spa. In the process of learning how to make a good logo, we learned that the way your logo looks portrays what your company is like. Its quality, its attributes, its services, etc. For example, if your logo is boring, no one is going to be drawn to your business.

I’ve been thinking, it’s kind of the same as those who are following Christ. If you don’t live differently than others, no one will be drawn to you. If you live your life like the world, or like the people around you, no one is going to see you and say, “Wow. They’re different. That’s cool. I’d like to get to know them better.”

Now of course, we can’t be perfect..no one can. But if we live our lives doing the works of Christ, encouraging others, or having an unexplainable joy, people are going to look at you and say, “I want to be like that.”

Not everyone is going to be drawn to you, and that’s okay. But God is working on the hearts of SO many people, we can never be sure who we are really reaching, until they express an interest in the way we live. If Christ is truly in us, He should be shining through us to the people around us. 

If Christ is in you, you should be living differently than the world. 

In all, the way we let ourselves be portrayed is going to decipher who will be drawn to us, who we will reach, and who we will change. 

You can’t change the world by trying to be like it.

New

So today is January 6. Meaning that five days ago was January 1. Meaning that it is now the new year. Now, I don’t know why, but New Year’s eve/day always brings me lots of anxiety and worry and stress.

Blah. 

So in the midst of all this craziness, I was beginning to play an overview of what the year might look like in my head. And then I got really freaked out. Why? Because this year is going to be a busy year for me. I will get my own car, I will get a license, I will have my first job, I will probably have to come up with a pretty clear idea of where I want to go to college, I will become more independent and have more leeway with the rules I am given. Some of my friends will soon be headed off to college, I’m suddenly going to be responsible for things I wasn’t responsible for before! This year is going to be a huge factor in me taking a step towards the future and I’m scared out of my pants. (don’t worry, that’s just a figure of speech. I still have my pants on.) 

All of a sudden, I’m going to have to make choices for myself, I am going to have to make the decisions, and I am going to have to mature to be able to meet certain standards. I mean seriously, I’m going to have to make my own appointments! That’s some hard stuff, man! 

And honestly, I don’t like the thought of it at all. I want to go back to the days when I was three and walking around in diapers and learning the alphabet. Those were the days. 

I have been trying to call myself down lately, but I’m not quite there yet. I just need to relax, and take it day by day. I need to remember that the plan for my life is Already paved. and that nothing can get in the way of it. With Jesus always by my side, I have nothing to worry about. I need to enjoy the here and now, because in the blink of an eye, it won’t be here and now anymore. 

So just take a deep breath, and let Him help you through!

Offering

Ok so I’m gonna be honest, I had planned on posting something every day of Christmas break. I had topics planned and everything, but then when I would sit down to write, nothing would come to me. So that’s why I haven’t been posting.
Anyways, today something finally did pop in my brain.
I was ushering at church this morning, (great service today by the way), and I was standing at the end of the aisle waiting for everyone else to finish. I had both the tray of body and blood in my hands. In the quiet room, I thought,
What if I spilled all of these offering elements, right here, right now? That would be sooooo embarrassing!
Now by the time I had this thought, they still weren’t done, so I kept thinking.
Wait a sec….that’s exactly what God calls us to do. If I dropped these elements, everything would be poured all of the floor. But that would be okay, wouldn’t it? Because God calls us to pour out our offerings to Him. He calls us to bring to Him everything that we can, because He is all-deserving of all of our offerings and much more.
So—pour out your offerings to our all-deserving God, despite the cost

Psalms 1:55

My interpretation from my reading today:
Psalms 55
I pray to you, God, and you hear me, and you answer me.
My thoughts trouble me, Satan creeps up on me, people judge me, and suffering surrounds me.
My heart is broken and death is terrifying to me. Sometimes I say, “I wish I could fly like a dove, far away from this place to a place of shelter, far from the storms of this life.”
This world is so violent. Filled with abuse and destruction, threats, lies and insults.
But I call to you, Lord, because every day you save me.
I pour out my hurt to you and you hear, and you ransom me unharmed from the battles raging against me.
Friends turn their backs on one another, people break their covenants, speech has become smooth—covering a heart at war with drawn swords.
Cast your cares upon God, for he will sustain you and won’t let you fall.
And as for me, I trust in You

Defeat

How often do you feel defeated? Disappointed in yourself? Hopeless? 

Blah. 

So freshman year I go to this really great, Christ-based, private school. It’s my third year there. There’s such a great staff. I make life-long friends. We have weekly chapel. The teachers genuinely care about you, and have no trouble hugging you, encouraging you, or listening to your personal life problems. And they have no fear of sharing their failures and sadnesses of their own personal lives with you. It’s great. You just feel so comfortable there. Each class has about twenty kids. Don’t get me wrong-the kids in the school aren’t perfect, but there’s not really anything “too crazy” going on there either. No drugs or alcohol(at least ON school property, who knows what happens outside). No cussing where any teacher might be able to hear you, no drug dogs or anything like that. And you’re all comfortable like, “This is where I’m supposed to be, and I LOVE it.” 

But then one Thursday morning in chapel, one of the juniors is preaching. And all of a sudden God says to you, “Hey. Get out of here.”

and you’re all like, “Uh…hey to you too..?”

and he’s all like, “Go back to public school. Get out of here. You’re not gonna lead anyone to me by being comfortable your whole life. You have to get out.”

And you sit there for the rest of chapel trying to talk yourself into believing that God didn’t just say anything to you..you’re just being silly and delusional.

But God don’t work like that. 

So you end up going to public school for sophomore year. Without your three best friends. Without your teachers who would give their life for you. Without weekly chapel. 

And then I walk in on the first day of school. By myself. And I look up at the big ginormous ceiling and go, “Okay God…what now…”

It kind of went like that for the whole day.

“Okay God, where’s my next classroom cause I’m lost in this white house. Okay God, who am I gonna sit with at lunch. Okay God, how many couples am I going to have to see making out everyday? Okay, God, how many times does someone need to use the F-word to get their point across? Okay, God, how does this pick up line work, cause I really don’t wanna sleep here overnight?”

The two atmospheres aren’t even comparable…that’s how different they are. But I know where I am supposed to be. And I know it is here. 

I’ve mentioned this once before, but I was once told to live my life in such a way that people ask, “Why?” 

And I have been asked “Why?” I’ve been asked why I don’t cuss. I’ve been asked if I go to church. I’ve been asked why I don’t laugh at other people’s inappropriate jokes.

And I’m not saying I’m perfect, because I AM NOT. I mess up soooo many times in a day, I don’t think there’s enough numbers known to man to count them all. 

But the point is-I’m now in a place where people don’t all know why I live my life the way I do. And I want to thank my amazing Christian school for teaching me how to live that way. And I want to thank public school for giving me a chance to be asked why I live that way. 

But being uncomfortable is definitely defeating. And not just on a spiritual level. 

At private school, all of my tests had a lot of written answer questions. And at public school-everything is multiple choice. EVERYTHING. And I study HARD. I study an average of 3-4 hours for every single test that I take. 

And as I sit here at my computer, defeatedly looking at the C I just earned on my History Final, I just feel defeated. This is probably the 20th test I’ve taken this year that I have studied my butt of for, and earned a solid C. Sometimes less than a C. And I just don’t get it. I work so hard, and I just don’t understand. A lot of times I think to myself, Man I must just be really stupid. Why do I even try? 

It’s just so defeating to get a C on a test you studied so hard for, and then have friends who can ace tests that they haven’t studied for at all. It can just make you feel worthless and stupid and DEFEATED. But we have to remember-I have to remember- that there is so much more in life than the things that defeat us.

Sometimes the things that defeat us at first turn out to be great. And sometimes they don’t. 

And I guess we just have to be okay with that sometimes.